This is pure silliness that was originally posted over at Fuzzy.Coffee.Books. during the Building From Ashes blog tour. I hope Courtney won’t mind that I reposted it here.
You know, it’s not often that Gio, Beatrice, Tenzin, and Carwyn come over to my place to just hang out. Usually, they’re strategizing or plotting against enemies or watching wrestling and drinking all my beer (okay, that might just be Carwyn), but a couple of days ago, they all came over and, strangely enough, the subject of Halloween costumes came up.
I decided to record our conversation for… posterity. (Or blackmail, should they ever inflict me with writer’s block.) When Courtney asked me for a guest post, I just couldn’t resist.
Beatrice: Elizabeth, what’s the Small Boy going as for Halloween this year?
E: Ninja, of course.
Carwyn: Wasn’t he a ninja last year?
E: He’s a ninja every year. It’s tradition.
Tenzin: I approve of this. When are you going to start incorporating weapons training? He’s already seven.
E: I think we may just stick with judo lessons for right now, Tenzin.
Gio: That sounds prudent. Are you attending any parties, Elizabeth?
E: Probably not. How about you guys? (silence) Guys?
Tenzin: (clears throat) There is a gathering of some sort on Beatrice’s grandfather’s yacht in Long Beach. I believe she told him we would all be there.
Beatrice: You know, the next time I have to go to one of his stuffy dinners, you all can come with me! Then he can’t corner me into agreeing to stupid stuff.
Gio: Tesoro, you are an extremely powerful vampire now, why didn’t you just refuse?
Beatrice: You try arguing with him when he has my grandma and Caspar in his corner. Carwyn, back me up here?
Carwyn: Huh? What?
Tenzin: Will you turn the television off?
Carwyn: But Small Boy left Cartoon Network on…
(E shuts off television and hands Carwyn a beer.)
Carwyn: Beer! What are we talking about?
Gio: The Halloween party. Elizabeth, the point is that, yes, we are all being forced to attend this… costume party.
(E begins laughing maniacally. Carwyn high-fives.)
E: Oh, this is too good! It’s a costume party? What are you all going as? Have you picked costumes yet?
Beatrice: I thought I’d go classic. Elvira.
Carwyn: Very cool.
Tenzin: (perks up) The woman who hosts the old horror movies? I like her.
E: I would have guessed zombie…
Gio: I prefer Elvira to zombie. Better… wardrobe.
Carwyn: You mean better cleavage?
Gio: That too. Tenzin, how about you? You were very cagey when I asked last night.
Tenzin: I found some old jewelry in my things, so I think I’ll go as Cleopatra. I liked her.
Carwyn: You… knew her?
Tenzin: Yes. She had attitude. And great jewelry.
Gio: Tenzin, the jewelry that you’re wearing… it didn’t actually belong to Cleopatra, did it?
Tenzin: Well, of course it did. Why else would finding it make me want to dress up like her for this ridiculous party?
E: (clears throat) Well… that’s really… cool. Gio, how about you?
Gio: I thought I would wear a more appropriate ensemble. I’ll be dressing as Sherlock Holmes for the evening. (Carwyn, Elizabeth and Beatrice groan) What?
Carwyn: This is because you kept that hat, isn’t it?
Beatrice: How about a Spartan warrior?
E: I can get behind that idea.
Gio: I have an authentic houndstooth deerstalker cap from that era, which I thought I’d put to good use—
Carwyn: You and your hats. Why not Zorro? He has a funny hat. And he doesn’t wear tweed.
Tenzin: How about Achilles?
E: I like that idea, too.
Gio: What’s wrong with Sherlock Holmes? And why all the classical themed costumes?
Beatrice: Really, anything that leaves you half-clothed is okay with me.
(Gio leans over and whispers in Beatrice’s ear. She squirms.)
E: No fair.
Beatrice: Totally fair. Gio, you can wear anything you want.
Gio: That’s what I thought.
(Tenzin snorts. Carwyn grabs another beer.)
E: How about you, Carwyn? Jimmy Buffet? Hula dancer? Surfer?
Carwyn: Though displaying my Hawaiian shirt collection is tempting, I will also be going with something classic.
Beatrice: Please, not a priest outfit.
Carwyn: Of a sort. I shall be donning the mask of… El Santo!
(blank stares all around)
E: Uh… who?
Carwyn: Surely you’ve heard of… well, really. What kind of—Gio, you know who I’m talking about, don’t you?
Gio: (clears throat) I admit nothing.
Tenzin: This has to do with some wrestling show, doesn’t it?
Beatrice: Oh, for heaven’s sake—
Carwyn: El Santo was only one of the most iconic lucha libre wrestlers ever! He was the first to don a mask! I shall be attending Don Ernesto’s party dressed in an exact replica of El Santo’s costume. Mexican wrestling royalty! I’m sure your grandfather will appreciate it.
Beatrice: Uh, Carwyn? He’s a three hundred year old Spanish don. I’m not sure that he’s much of a wrestling fan.
Carwyn: Well then, education is clearly the order of the day.
Tenzin: Are you going to body-slam someone at the party? That would be highly amusing.
Gio: Can I nominate Baojia? (Beatrice slaps Gio’s thigh) What?
Beatrice: Carwyn, I’m sure your costume will rock. Elizabeth, how about you? Any plans to scare the kiddos while you’re escorting Small Boy around the neighborhood?
E: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get some fangs, a slinky dress, and be the Bride of Dracula.
Gio: (bares fangs and winks at Elizabeth) I approve.
~~~Hey, these are my crazy meanderings! Please respect the author and do not distribute my work illegally. Copyright © Elizabeth Hunter, 2012