You say you want to know me.

I don’t think you do.

I am old.

You don’t want to know the things I have seen.

Have you watched a tree grow, from seed to leaf? Days and nights passing as you rest in a shadowed place. Light and dark flickering by like one of the film reels you love to watch. Have you seen this?

I have.

I am as old as the wind I walk upon.

I am a mother. A daughter. A sister to murdered kin.

A friend. A lover. An enemy.

A hero?

I have been a hero and a villain in the same moment. If you grow old enough, you might understand what that means.

I dream in a tongue that died a thousand years before time was counted. I no longer count time. It is meaningless. There is only the light and the dark. Hot. Cold. I am a creature of sense.

A murderer.

A liar.

A thief.

I hold myself subject to no man’s law. The laws came after me. There is only one law I recognize.

I survive. I protect what is mine.

You say you want to know me. Maybe you do.

Do you want to see rivers change course? See mountains fall and islands rise? Do you want to see waves of humanity ebb and flow as civilizations grow? When they die? Both are equal in my eyes. Humanity grows like a canyon cut by rivers of blood and conquest. Leaders rise and are swept away. I have seen it. I will see it again. Are you sure you want to see it?

It might make you mad.

I have been mad. It was… freeing.

I have been mad and wise. One is only a shadow of the other. I have been fueled by rage and love in the same breath.

When I choose to breathe.

I have loved. And love has made me mad.

I have loved, and the loss of it made me rage.

I have killed those I loved.

Love is more dangerous than madness. More fickle than rage.

Love.

The Greeks had many names for it. Foolish humans divide everything, as if the dissection of an emotion will let them understand its power.

Love is larger than their divisions. I have loved. I will love again. There is only that. The love I hold has lasted as I have. It lives in my blood.

Don’t pretend to understand, human. You cannot.

We are immortal. We are the elements. Earth. Water. Wind. Fire.

Other.

We are born of them. We feed on them. We return to them when our bodies are slain. That is our eternity. We will be born again.

You say you want to know me, but what do you want to know?

I have killed thousands of your kind.

Thousands.

Did you want to know that?

I cannot hide among you. I don’t even try. If you met me, I would only be a shadow that your brain chooses to forget. A trick of the darkness. I am only known to those who I choose. I lie when it suits me. I might be lying now.

I probably am.

You want to know what I see when I look at him?

I see a shining boy with shadows in his eyes. A shallow pool that grows deeper with every footstep. One day, he will be infinite.

You see only the edge of a shadow of who he will become.

Do you see visions?

I do.

Don’t pretend to understand. You’re lying now. Like me.

You say you want to see a happy ending, but what does that mean for me? I have no ending.

You say I deserve to find love?

I don’t.

Love has been handed to me, and I threw it away. I deserve nothing.

Do I want it?

I take what I want.

You say you want to know me. I don’t think you do.

I am not what you can understand. The span of your life is a speck of dust in the wind of my existence. I exist outside of this world. They call me a wind-walker. There is truth in that. The wind travels over the world untethered. It has many names.

Zephyros.

Vardar.

Taku.

Bora.

Mistral.

Nashi.

They are all the same air. Like me. I am all of them and none of them. I chose my name.

Tenzin.

Holder of teachings.

I will choose another some day when I am tired of this one. I have had many names.

Mother. Daughter. Sister. Lover. Friend.

I am all of those, but none of them define me.

Maybe you do understand.

No.

30 thoughts on “Wind speaks.

    1. Liz says:

      I believe Tenzin was talking to me I felt great sorrow, pain, regret and love. No fear but longing yes longing. I have always enjoyed her and look forward to knowing her better. She is a very loyal friend. Just cooling my heals till May 28th. I love reading your books you can feel the strength of all the vampires you make them so real I find myself admiring them there strength and vulnerability. Thank you I escape reality and I am swallowed up in the intense passion in your books.

  1. Ashley says:

    Good I love Tenzin, who was she supposed to be talking to? Ben or was it just one of those conversations to nobody in particular? Keep up the great wok, cant wait for Blood and Sand to come out so I can dive deep back in this world I love so much!

  2. Esther Rose says:

    I love how you write! It’s as if the words disappear and I’m hearing the person speak in my mind. Looking forward to May 28th!

  3. Jeannie Sorretto says:

    How do you do that? How do you write what even you cannot wrap your mind around? We humans are so finite, brief and small…. so dependent on the earth, the fire, the rain and the wind.

  4. Morgan Williams says:

    I was already antsy for a new installment into the fascinating world of these creatures! Reading this just makes my excitement grow! Amazing work, as usual.

  5. Liana says:

    “I have been mad and wise. One is only a shadow of the other. I have been fueled by rage and love in the same breath.”

    That struck such a cord in me. So telling, so raw, so real.

    Thank you for this world of wonder, awe and excitement that delivers a roller coaster of emotions and an amazing story every time.

  6. spooky13 says:

    I love Tenzin, her raw honesty and power is scary yet beautiful, I hope to read more about her. I think she is speaking of Ben but that is just me! I love you extra’s amazing POV.

  7. Susie Wu says:

    “I have been a hero and a villain in the same moment.” Pure Brilliance! It really encapsulates what I have always thought of Tenzin.

    Maybe you should book a holiday to “Nowhere Else”? You better be specific though as there are two town with that name in Australia. One in Tasmania and one in South Australia! Us Aussies really excel in the weird.
    ( susie.spam@hotmail.com )

  8. Carole Franklin says:

    Elizabeth, Your books have captivated me from the first one I read because they are so real, while being so unreal. I love books about the mysterious, and ever since Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and the concept introduced that a vampire could have “human” mores, even while lusting after blood, I have wanted more because it teaches me about my humanity, my duality, light and dark. I am hooked on your books, Elizabeth.

    Tenzin, you who seem more dark than light, are one of the vampires that I envy and pity in the same breath. Envy because you is so free, so unremorseful. You have seen so much in your long life that you have evolved beyond the emotions that control us humans. What must it be like to act without fear of recrimination, of hurting others, of looking foolish? But to act to save yourself, others that you care for. On the other hand I pity your immortality, your losing love and after love though the passage of time. That could be make you bitter, a bit like you, Tenzin. But most of all I am fascinated by you. Yes, Tenzin, I do want to know you, warts and all.

  9. Julie Vinson says:

    Great excerpt from Tenzin. I have to say I have read the series twice now, the books are amazing! Much better than I dare say that other vampire story ! Elizabeth’s books would make a cool movie line.

  10. Linda says:

    When was this posted?!! I didn’t see it!
    I loved it!!!!
    I love Tenzin… I would love to see her with Ben… 🙂

  11. Sandy says:

    That is so deep. I love it. It tells me about Tenzin but yet it does not. I can not wait till you do write a story as her as the main character, but after reading that I do understand why it will take awhile. I will wait, and I’m sure it will be great!!!! Thank you.

  12. Miranda says:

    Ah, love this, I think she’s talking to everyone…and Ben. I can’t wait to see what she sees, because she knows some, if not all of what is coming.🙂

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